Reflection on Project 3 Draft

I commented on Brittany and Jess' project 3s.

1. My purpose for my original project was to persuade the audience (parents) to act upon childhood obesity and helping put a stop to it. I believe my project was very successful in achieving the purpose and reaching my intended audience. 
2. I am revising this project because I know it does not completely persuade my audience. My peers have helped me realize that it sounds a bit confusing in certain areas and that I need more evidence to back up my claims. 
3. I am revising my project to better suit my audience (parents). 
4. The length of my paper will become longer because I will be adding more supportive evidence. The format and appearance may have minimal changes because I may revise the headlines to become less confusing. I would like to make my intro a little longer, but I like the length of my conclusion. I believe that the structure and depth of my argument are good.